What a week. I got a surge of energy after getting those nightmares out of my system. I've been sleeping more soundly, although I've had a couple mornings of getting up at 4/5am and not being able to fall back to sleep. I've coped with that by listening to relaxation/visualization audio tracks on my iPod and getting up to do yoga so that I don't go straight to work instead. I've been focusing on drinking enough water and eating well and drawing boundaries with work. I try not to bring work home with me if I can. My final chemo treatment is less than a week away now, and I'm really looking forward to getting good news in July after a PET scan. Unfortunately, I'm about to max out my lousy student health insurance benefits, so things are possibly going to get a but crazy in the financial department pretty soon. Plus, my temporary position as interim executive director will be gone once school starts in the fall. I'm actually pondering applying for the permanent position since I've been doing a decent job as interim, but I'm not sure how I would manage that as a full-time student.
Over the last two weeks, we've lost two important women in the community to breast cancer. It is a huge loss to the community and their families and I don't quite know how to sit with it. I can only think about it so much before I start to worry about my own situation. I've been crying a lot today, and then I try to redirect my energy towards a positive vision of my long, healthy future. I also seem to find comfort in my work when I'm faced with overwhelming emotional stress, so I directed that energy into a grant application this week. My parents will arrive on Wednesday night to be present for my final treatment, so that will be nice. There's also a lot of new life in the world- several friends had babies over the last few weeks, too. Such is the coming and going of humans on this planet. May you be well.
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