Two birthdays ago I shaved my head

As I start my 36th trip around the sun, I'm grateful for my ponytail and my strongly beating heart. I don't have strong memories of my last birthday. I know I was a full-time student and working as executive director. I think we had a really nice potluck with friends. As this birthday approached, I felt anxious about getting older. I didn't want to make a big deal of my birthday, didn't want to give people ideas for gifts to give me, didn't make any plans until the day itself. I thought maybe I'd want to spend the whole day by myself. Part of the reason I was anxious is that we had an appointment with a fertility specialist scheduled for the day before my birthday. I think I was terrified that we'd somehow get bad news at that appointment.