This first round of chemo is going remarkably well. I did start feeling a little lower energy last weekend, which may have been related to the final dose of Prednisone on Saturday wearing off. I also think that starting back up with my school schedule took more of my energy, and that several resolutions at work allowed me to relax a bit more than I had been in that realm of my life. I also started my moon cycle this week, which normally affects my energy level and digestion just a little each month. I was really happy to see that resume since I wasn't sure it would arrive at at all due to the Lupron injections I'm getting (to give my remaining eggs a chance to survive better) and the chemo meds themselves. I'm still getting a full night's sleep, eating great food from our meal train supporters (thank you!), and taking a walk or going to lap swim every day. I had a check-up this Wednesday with the oncologist and they did a blood analysis to make sure that my levels of white and red blood cells, platelets, and enzymes are where they should be after the first round of R-CHOP. Everything looks good, so I'll be able to get my next infusion at the cancer center instead of as an inpatient in the hospital. This means it will take less time and will cost less, so I am down with that. My next infusion will be on March 28. We also found out that I'll get another PET scan after the second round to confirm that the treatment is working. That is scheduled for April 8, and I'll get the results the following Thursday, April 11. It's nice to know that step is involved so that we're not moving ahead with an ineffective treatment. I asked what would happen if my scan shows no sign of cancer at that point, and was told that we would continue with all six rounds anyways. Want to read more about that, since I've seen a bit of information about the over treatment of cancer and I'd prefer to have as little exposure to unnecessary, highly toxic medications as possible during this process. But I also like the idea of curing this cancer and having it never come back.
In general, I've been having a positive experience with most of the medical and administrative staff at the hospital and cancer center. But every once in a while someone has rubbed me the wrong way. For example, the PA in my latest appointment, who I was meeting for the first time, referred to the scar on my neck as a "battle wound" as she was doing her exam. Not helpful. She then also exclaimed "Oh, WOW!" right as she looked into the back of my throat with a lighted scope. This was alarming to me because my tonsils are one of the places that lit up in my original PET scan. I don't want any medical person to be surprised when they look at my tonsils. It turns out that she was surprised that she had such a clear view of my tonsils- she's used to people's tongues getting in the way or something, but I didn't know that at the time. I got pretty upset with her and she apologized but I think it's an indication that many PAs, nurses, etc. can't completely understand what it's like to be a cancer patient if they haven't been through it themselves. She was also generally patronizing and told us things that we already knew without checking to see if we already knew them, which felt to me like a waste of everyone's time. Thankfully, I LOVE my oncologist and it's her medical opinions, attitudes and methods that matter most to me in my treatment. I figure I have to be patient with people, but I also may need to grow a thicker skin when it comes to being vulnerable to passing comments by slightly insensitive care providers. There was a nurse at the hospital last week who casually referred to the chemo drugs as "poison" as she was giving us an overview during the wait. This brought me to tears at the time, since I'd been trying hard to visualize positive things about the treatment. She, too, apologized, and I learned later that my dad also said something to her in the hallway. I also remember that she said something about contemplating cutting her own hair because it was such a nuisance, and I thought that was a little unnecessary at the time. I want to let go of these stories, and at the same time they are a pattern I'm noticing in my experience. The point is- nobody is perfect and this is a stressful situation for many parties involved. I think it also indicates the narrow definition of "healing" within the western medical model. Our health care system basically says that if you are free of disease, then you are healthy. Other traditions of "healing" include mental/emotional/spiritual health of the patient and nurture overall wellness in addition to addressing biological disturbances. Each systems has its strengths and weaknesses and I'm glad that I can learn to use the best of both and leave the rest.
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